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You know I’ve kept my MySpace intact (even through all the ‘why aren’t you on Facebook? It’s SO much better’ antics from my friends) because it makes for great web pr. But tonight marks the end of just public pr folks; tonight brings my heart to the table.  All this from an episode of Bachelor, yes I unfortunately said ‘The Bachelor’. I can’t say I’ve ever even watched it, although my brief term of endearment with that gorgeous bachelor reject sparked my interest; it’s this whole underworld of perfect people looking for perfect, healthy relationships… it kinda made me wonder…  well, mostly where the hell are they finding these perfect people? But after that… could this really be real? 
 
Now without rehashing the past, I’ve had my fair share of ‘reality’ TV enough to know it’s never really reality. But from the small inside insight I was able to get from my bachelor hunk, it seemed as though these people were actually just looking for love instead of a job, easy publicity or something better to do than drink themselves into oblivion at the local pub (that one’s a shout out for the contestants on Rock of Love). 
 
So tonight I tuned in for the finale–mostly because I saw in my fav rag mag US Weekly that this entire thing is FAKE, imagine that, fake reality? Aren’t we all living that in one way or another anyway? But back to the point.
 
I watched already knowing the ending thanks to ‘US’. Thinking producers, directors, station execs and network owners could not possibly take this (semi-real stab at reality) to the point where you use a poor girl up and spit her out. I mean this is freakin’ ABC not MTV (that’s a shout out for yours truly who was obviously always the centerfold of someone’s reality game).  Molly, Mary, Mellissa, Megan whatever the hell her name is, I feel so bad for her.  Her poor heart was used for television (Us Weekly claimed it was on purpose to get a higher rating). 
 
I guess I found it more disturbing than what I experienced personally, because my reality ratings were about my job, not my heart. This was her heart on the line. I guess we’ll never really know the truth but from what I know from leaks, insiders, and US weekly predictions, it seemed that some angry person wanted the truth to be known. Which is something all ex-reality people usually feel.
 
The only side of the story the audience ever gets is the ones of those that are still telling it on TV every night. But gosh, I just cried inside for her. I felt like she was such a beautiful honest woman and I don’t NOT like the other girl he ends up with but I do feel like their thirty-minute reunion during the rose gathering after-party was a bunch of bulls***! I saw right through that acting job and edit. Anyway, what the f*** have we come to when ratings mean more to us than honest emotion? Fire me, lie about me, rumor about me, write/say all the nonsense you can but don’t play with my heart. Love is all we have at the end of the day. We’re all so damn focused on hating on each other that we forget. We forget what’s important. We forget how we should treat people and not because we have to, but because we should. Because it’s the right way to be in life.  It’s what we should hope for everyday.
 
Through all of the s***, we should always find a way to love our environment. It’s all we have people! If I ever did a dating/love show (which I believe isn’t impossible to find love on), I would never take advantage of people’s love in order to make those ratings.
 
After the show, I had to go for a run…I needed to