Here you were, living your life thinking that you would know love when mystical butterflies manifested in your belly. Well, you were wrong, and since you have no idea of gauging what real love is, there is a bra company to do it for you.
Thanks to some new technology, the market has been introduced to a new bra – called the True Love Tester – which was made in conjunction with “human sexuality specialists” to create a “revolutionary new bra that knows how women truly feel.”
Sigh, don’t they know that’s impossible, we don’t even know how we feel. Anyway, the device will detect whether a lady is in love and boom, bam, pow, her whole literal support system will come undone.
In a promotional video, the sensor monitors the smart bra wearer’s heart rate and transmits the data in realtime to an iPhone app using a Bluetooth connection. The creators of the bra say that the catch will only be released when a woman is in love, so that her Adrenal Medulla secretes the hormone Catecholamine, which increases her heart rate, or whatever.
The bra is not currently on sale and there is no indication as to whether it will be made, but there is a glittery gold prototype out there in the world somewhere glowing pink when it finds true love. No casual sex in this baby.