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Today in “Stories From Florida,” we have a mother who was too drunk to mother, a man who enjoys peeing on strangers, and a Floridian who was caught having sex with a pit bull in his front yard.

We can’t make this stuff up.

Mommy’s Drunk:

A 35-year-old woman who went to pick up her daughters at a Daytona Beach elementary school was so drunk that she passed out in the street as she tried to get into her car, leaving the 4 and 5-year-old kids alone by the side of the road.

The children, who were too little to lift Lindsey Scanlon (pictured above) from the ground, were standing less than 5 feet from the road, which had “heavy flowing traffic.”

We know who isn’t winning mother of the year.

Lindsey Scanlon was arrested and charged with two counts of child neglect without great harm after an employee at Lourdes Academy on North Halifax Drive called the Department of Children & Families.

Scanlon had a 2010 conviction for reckless driving, court records show. Read about her misfortune, here.

Golden Showers in the Sunshine State:

Police are searching for a man who has been urinating on strangers near the University of Florida campus.

Yep, that’s happening. Victims reported to police that they were standing with their backs turned to the man when they felt themselves being urinated upon. The victims all told police that when they confronted the man, he ran away.

The incidents occurred Feb. 22, Feb. 26 and March 1 in various locations near the campus. Police are continuing their investigation, but so far, no signs of the serial urinator.

Read about it, here.

Backyard Bang:

A Tampa man is behind bars after neighbors spotted him in his yard having sex with a pit bull. When the witnesses yelled at him to stop, he ignored them and kept on with his disgusting act.

Bernard Marsonek, 57, was arrested Wednesday morning and charged with aggravated animal cruelty, sexual activity involving animals and two counts of being a felon in possession of a firearm, according to the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office.

When police searched his home, they found eight other pit bulls inside.

We don’t even want to know what kind of operation was going on in there. Read about it, here.

PHOTO CREDIT: Police Department

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