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Today in “Stories From Florida,” we have a teenager who faked her own kidnapping to elicit sympathy from an ex-boyfriend and a Florida State Senator determined to pass a “zombie apocalypse” bill because…reasons.

We can’t make this stuff up.

Desperate Measures:

As if we needed another reason to deem today’s teenagers “the worst in history,” a 16-year-old girl faked her own kidnapping to win back her ex-boyfriend.

Ankita Lavender called her father around 7:20 p.m. claiming two men grabbed and pulled her into a white truck, according to the CCSO. Her cell phone was reportedly shut off later.

Lavender was found around 10:25 p.m. by a driver on the side of Henley Road., East of Blanding Boulevard, according to the CCSO. The teen told police she had been thrown from the truck. Officers said she did not have visible injuries, but she was taken to Orange Park Medical Center to be examined for any possible injuries.

When police realized the kidnapping was a hoax, Lavender fessed up, admitting she wanted to play “the sympathy card.” But now, she’s playing the “embarrassed” card. Read about it here…[FirstCoastNews]

The Walking Dead:

So this is happening. On Tuesday, State Sen. Dwight Bullard (D) filed an amendment to Senate Bill 296 (or the Carrying a Concealed Weapon or Concealed Firearm bill) to that would change the title of the amendment to “An act relating to the zombie apocalypse.”

The original bill, described as “An act related to carrying a concealed weapon or firearm” during a mandatory evacuation while under a declared state of emergency, would eliminate criminal prosecution for anybody carrying concealed firearms under those conditions, say if a hurricane or natural disaster hit.

But why the name change? It’s the ultimate shade, that’s why.

Democratic Sen. Dwight Bullard, an opponent of the bill, imagined other dire straits when he filed this amendment to the bill late Tuesday: “An act relating to the zombie apocalypse.”

It was Bullard’s way of calling out this bill as “laughable.” A crisis, he told the Huffington Post, is “the last instance in which you want someone who is not a concealed permit holder to carry a weapon.”

Makes sense now. Read about it here…[MyNews13]

PHOTO CREDIT: Family Handout