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Today in “Stories From Florida,” we have a hormonal teenager who decided to have sex with a stuffed animal in Walmart and another dude who, after running from police, ran straight into a jail.

By accident.

We can’t make this stuff up.

His Favorite Toy:

Florida teen Sean Johnson was arrested after he took a stuffed animal to the bedding section of a Brooksville, Fla. Walmart and used it to masturbate.

And yes, he put the toy back on the shelf, covered in semen and all.

From the Smoking Gun:

According to a police report, Sean Johnson, 19, “selected a brown, tan, and red stuffed horse from the clearance shelf in the garden department.” He then went to the comforter aisle in the housewares section, “proceeded to pull out his genitals,” and “proceeded to hump the stuffed horse utilizing short fast movements.” The lewd act was captured by surveillance cameras.

After Johnson “achieved an orgasm and ejaculated on the stuffed horse’s chest area,” he placed the “soiled stuffed horse on top of a bed in a bag (comforter set) contaminating that property also.”

He left the store before being apprehended, but was stopped and arrested in the parking lot. Johnson was charged with indecent exposure. Read about it here…[SmokingGun]

Wrong Way:

And in “Florida Man” news relocated, a Florida resident in Sutter County, California ran away from police and straight to the police station…but not intentionally.

From the Sacramento Bee:

The man was part of a trio of Florida residents who were in a Jeep about 1:30 p.m. Saturday that was observed running a red light in Yuba City. A CHP officer tried to pull the Jeep over by activating lights and siren but the driver would not stop for about a quarter of a mile.

At that point, the three men bailed from the vehicle and ran away, two of them being caught nearby. The third ran behind the Sutter County Jail on Civic Center Boulevard.

There, a Sutter County Sheriff’s deputy who was not part of the chase saw the driver of the Jeep running in a restricted area.

According to a CHP press release, the driver drew a handgun from his waistband, prompting the deputy to fire. That caused the driver to give up and he was taken into custody.

Clorenzo Griffin, 37, of Fort Lauderdale, was arrested on charges including suspicion of robbery, assault and a drug charge. Andre Dion Jamison, 29, and Rodney Stewart Rackley Jr., 24, were arrested on suspicion of robbery and a drug charge.

Read about it here…[SacBee]

PHOTO CREDIT: Screengrab

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