Watching Amy Schumer on camera is a similar experience to watching a sex scene in the same room as your boyfriend’s mom. Slightly uncomfortable, definitely weird, but honestly…pretty f*cking hilarious.
Everybody’s obsessing over her. She’s not a twig and she doesn’t care. She doesn’t have a filter and she doesn’t care. She defines the purest form of confidence that all women strive for, and on top of all that, she’s seriously really funny. She’s not the completely absurd Lena Dunham-type of funny or the super awkward Kristen Wiig-type funny. But in a less than subtle and extremely direct way that clearly a lot of women can relate to.
The 34-year-old comedic sensation was recently featured as GQ’s August cover girl, wearing a Star Wars slave Leia bikini costume and of course, seductively sucking on a droid finger. The photoshoot is certainly not the first bold move coming from Schumer. The actress and comedian is starring in her first movie ever, Trainwreck, which hits theaters on Friday, July 17th. And if we know anything about this “lovely” lady… we know this movie is not going to be your average comedy.
In honor of her big on-screen debut, we’ve collected some of our favorite, most stomach-churning Schumer clips. Scenes that had us on the verge of tears, almost peeing our pants, and shaking from laughter. Have a look for yourself.
1. Amy Schumer on Ellen
This is our all-time favorite Amy Schumer interview. Right off the bat, Amy opens up to Ellen about not fitting in in L.A., where her “arms register as legs” and people ask, “What is that octopus on Sunset?” If you haven’t seen this interview, you absolutely need to dedicate the next six minutes of your life to watching this video.
2. Inside Amy Schumer: The Food Room
Who could forget Schumer’s parody of The Newsroom? This has to be one of our favorite Schumer sketches, hands down. We laughed particularly hard when she claimed to need Dora The Explorer toys, “yesterday.”
3. Truth or Truth With Jimmy Fallon
Jimmy Fallon has a number of equally incredible and ridiculous games on his show, but “Truth or Truth” never fails. Especially not when he’s playing with Schumer, who managed to conjure up a flawlessly hilarious and usually inappropriate answer to every single question. “What do you think of teeth?” Fallon asked. Naturally, she responds, “I’ve been told to use less.”
4. Inside Amy Schumer: Lunch At O’Nutters
Remember when Amy Shumer made a sketch of what would be a typical female ‘Hooters?’ O’Nutters, she called it. The go-to place to check out a guy’s package without being judged. A world where beer doesn’t exist, but of course, pinot does. This genius move had us thinking, how has no one done this before?
5. Amy Schumer’s Super-Awkward Puberty Talk with Conan
Let’s not forget when Schumer referred to her adolescent self as a “jack-o’-lantern with tits.” That’s all that really needs to be said about that one.
6. Amy Schumer’s Stand-Up
Schumer’s stand up about “mostly sex stuff” was nothing short of inspirational. She compared her dancing ability to that of your aunt’s at a wedding and talked about “sucking at dating,” something that 99 percent of girls have in common with the boisterous comedian. Honestly, who the f*ck wants to go dancing on a first date?
7. Inside Amy Schumer: When She Talks to God (a.k.a. Paul Giamatti)
In this sketch, Amy talks to “God” about her herpes scare, and answers her friend’s phone call with “Hey, butthole.” God gets honest with her about her surefire case of herpes, and tells the patient that in order to get rid of the disease he’ll need to “create balance in the universe.” According to the big guy up there, those sacrifices may include killing off an entire village in Uzbekistan. Schumer replies with, “Whatever you think is best, do it.”
8. Schumer’s Opening Monologue at the MTV Movie Awards
Schumer, who hosted the MTV Movie Awards this year, started the night off by joking about how the awards are the only ones in which the movies are nominated and voted on by the same people that keep Catfish and Teen Mom on the air, a pretty validating point for the network. She joked with Kevin Hart about winning the “Baby Comedic Genius Award,” but said he should’ve been there for the “Can’t Say No To A Movie Award.” She then asked the audience if they knew how many movies Hart was in this year, and proceeded to tell them, “two million.”
9. Schumer’s Dirty Meerkat Sketch
We seriously could not control our laughter when we watched this one.
What’s your favorite Schumer moment? Give us your opinion and make sure to catch Trainwreck in theaters this Friday, July 17th.
PHOTO CREDIT: Mark Seliger for GQ / Mark Seliger for GQ | VIDEO CREDIT: YouTube, MTV