Happy Tuesday. I apologize for assaulting your eyes right from the get-go.
In today’s news, Lenny Kravitz‘s penis fled his pants as he performed onstage in Stockholm.
BuzzFeed has dubbed the incident “Lenny Kravitz’s Dick Wants To Fly Away” in its URL to the story. I’m only a little mad I didn’t think of that joke first.
You’ve heard of the nip slip: an untimely, unknowing revelation of one’s nipple. Let it be known that on this day, I coined the term “d*ck slip.” It’s doubtful that this event may occur again, as the stars must align in the formula as follows: ownership of a penis + skin-tight leather pants + full range of motion – underwear. However, if such an incident does happen to repeat itself, I will be there to call it as it is: a d*ck slip.
No word yet on whether I will be awarded for discovering this algorithm.
So sorry, Zoe Kravitz. This is undoubtably weird for you.