After nearly three years, MTV’s Jersey Shore, one of the greatest TV shows of all time, will be coming to an end after this season, the show’s sixth.
It’s going to be hard saying goodbye to eight people — The Situation, Pauly D, Vinny, Ronnie, Sammi, Snooki, Deena and JWoww — we now call our friends (sorry, Angelina!)
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However, folks, we shouldn’t be too sad. If Jersey Shore has taught us anything, it’s that we can always find ways to celebrate, even when there is awful news.
Actually, that wasn’t all the show taught us. Truth be told, the show has dropped a lot of jewels on us over the last three years.
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So, to celebrate the end of Jersey Shore, here are seven things Jersey Shore has taught the world.
How to successfully pull off the fist pump.
For all these years, no one was doing the fist pump dance correctly. Who knew? So what was the big problem? We weren’t building it up enough. Apparently, according to the good folks from Jersey Shore, we have to start from the floor as the beat builds, and then work our way up once the track explodes. Tough work. We are glad someone finally taught us.
Your looks and tan are more important than your health.
Cancer concerns be damned! What’s the point of being healthy if you don’t good look? There’s really no point at all. Which is why, despite all the proven facts connecting cancer to the tanning booth, the group proudly still regularly gets their tan on. So next time someone pale and ugly comes up to you, remind them nothing beats having that golden glow.
They showed us how to properly handle grenades.
Listen, fellas: if you are going to be out there trying to hump everything, you have to expect to grab a grenade every once in a while. It’s all in the game. However, you must know how to deal with these types of unpleasant ladies. No one has taught us better than the fine gentlemen on Jersey Shore, who, over the years, have become quite the experts at the task.
They showed us what real love really looks like.
Love isn’t always flowers and chocolates and poems, ya know. NO! Love is hard and love often hurts. Nothing better displayed this aspect than Ronnie and Sammi’s turbulent relationship. Yes, there were good times. But Sammi and Ronnie’s relationship was full of tantrums, arguments, drunken rants and the occasional punch to the face. Folks, that’s love for real.
How to go from being a simp to swaggy.
We love Vinny, but let’s face it: dude used to be lame as f*ck. In the first couple of seasons, he was this quiet, no-swag-having guy that was trying to catch Pauly D and The Situation’s leftovers. However, as the seasons went on, Vinny got cooler. Sure he had to learn some tough lessons (like, in season two, when that chick curved him after he just bought her some flowers.) But Vinny is winning now, showing that there is hope for all lame dudes out there.
How important acronyms are.
M.V.P., G.T.L., D.T.S., D.T.F.: The cast of Jersey Shore has mastered the use of acronyms. This is a valuable lesson — think of all the time you end up saving if you abbreviate everything. That has to equal up to, like, 10 minutes a year. (Ten minutes that could be used for tanning.)
There is a life after reality TV.
Before Jersey Shore became the phenomenon it did, reality TV stars would just kind of fizzle away after their screen time was over (ask any of the old Real World members that linger around your local Walmart.) However, it looks like even after the show is done, Jersey Shore is here to stay. People like Pauly D, Snooki and The Situation have branded themselves in other arenas; they are going to be famous and rich using other avenues. Trust, the entire cast of the Jersey Shore will be good for years. (Well, everyone but Angelina…but she never really counted anyway.)
