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An exclusive excerpt from TIME about Paris Hilton’s upcoming memoir, Paris: The Memoir shares reflections about her choice to have an abortion in her 20s. Read more about the celebrity’s upcoming memoir inside.

Paris Hilton’s memoir dives into her personal life. There are a million ways to define Paris. Some might call her an heiress, a party animal, problem child, model and a reality star, but these are the labels that have been attached to her by others. Today, she’s a founder, entrepreneur, pop culture maker, innovator, survivor, activist, daughter, sister, wife and mom.

Hilton didn’t always feel fit to be a mom though. In an excerpt from TIME, the star shares why motherhood was out of the question in her early 20s.

In the book, she talks about when she first discovered she was pregnant.

“It was like waking up on the ledge outside a 40th-floor window,” Hilton recalls. “I was terrified and heartsick. The hormones sent my ADHD symptoms spiraling. Everything I knew about myself was at war with everything I’d been raised to believe about abortion. No one can ever know how hard it is to face this impossible choice unless she’s faced it herself.

Though many years has passed, there’s a reason why 42 year old decided to talk about her abortion now.

“Choosing to have an abortion can be an intensely private agony that’s impossible to explain,” Hilton shares with TIME. “The only reason I’m talking about it now is that so many women are facing it, and they feel so alone and judged and abandoned. I want them to know that they’re not alone, and they don’t owe anyone an explanation.”

Things have changed quite a bit for Hilton, including her views on pregnancy. She most recently welcomed her first son Phoenix Barron Hilton Reum with husband Carter Reum.

“I know I wouldn’t have this life if I hadn’t made that difficult choice in my early 20s,” Hilton confesses. “Women need to control their reproductive destiny. We need to know ourselves, trust ourselves, and know what’s right for us—and when—and stay in the driver’s seat.”

Be sure catch more gems about Paris’ life from her memoir, which debuts Mar. 14.