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1. Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus

Because you don’t want to get cake on your nice shirt.

2. Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus

Because your dog is sleeping on that top you wanted to wear.

3. Nicki Minaj

Nicki Minaj

Because you know people who are down for the double homicide.

4. Nicki Minaj

Nicki Minaj

Because you’re Barbie, bitch.

5. Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian

Because all the world’s platinum comes from your vagina.

6. Chelsea Handler

Chelsea Handler

Because you’re talking to God in your most natural form.

7. Jason Biggs

Jason Biggs

So you can prove your penis can sell books.

8. Niykee Heaton

Niykee Heaton

Because you’re skinny dipping in your parents’ pool and the world really needs to know.

9. Niykee Heaton

Niykee Heaton

To stunt on people while you bathe in colored water.

10. Niykee Heaton

Niykee Heaton

Because french fries are delicious.

11. Rihanna

Rihanna

Because you have gas.

12. Amber Rose

Amber Rose

When your tan lines are more popping than Lil Mama’s lip gloss.

13. Amber Rose

Amber Rose

Because you are the only one making money in a drought.

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