1. Miley Cyrus
Because you don’t want to get cake on your nice shirt.
2. Miley Cyrus
Because your dog is sleeping on that top you wanted to wear.
3. Nicki Minaj
Because you know people who are down for the double homicide.
4. Nicki Minaj
Because you’re Barbie, bitch.
5. Kim Kardashian
Because all the world’s platinum comes from your vagina.
6. Chelsea Handler
Because you’re talking to God in your most natural form.
7. Jason Biggs
So you can prove your penis can sell books.
8. Niykee Heaton
Because you’re skinny dipping in your parents’ pool and the world really needs to know.
9. Niykee Heaton
To stunt on people while you bathe in colored water.
10. Niykee Heaton
Because french fries are delicious.
Because you have gas.
12. Amber Rose
When your tan lines are more popping than Lil Mama’s lip gloss.
13. Amber Rose
Because you are the only one making money in a drought.