I know this will push some buttons and being 14, some women will say I will understand when I get older why they kept a son and a daughter from growing up with two parents.
At 14, I often see my mother at two child care centers. The number of mothers that say do not allow my baby daddy to pick him up this week. How awful is that! You are putting a price tag on peace and happiness. To those people I say there is no amount of money that should come in between what God wants and what children need.
I know there are fathers that want nothing to do with their children but this blog is not about those fathers.
Let me introduce you to Angie – her name is changed to protect her.
Angie is 15 and lives in a nice 6 bedroom house, attends private school and on the outside you would never know the pain she feels. I asked teens to send me their stories on how living without a father made them feel and her story brought tears to my eyes. I will share some of it with you.
“Hi my name is Angie I am fifteen. I am glad you are doing this kind of a blog. Ever since I can remember I have felt unsure of myself I have hated myself. I do not know why! My mother is a nurse and does the world for me. Just something is not right. I hate to go around my friends in my neighborhood they all have dads and I feel like I am missing something. I feel like I am not good enough.
So many times I would ask my mother about my dad and she would tell me how much we did not need a man. Then she would change the subject. I would ask could I contact him and she would get really mad and tell me he did not pay child support so I did not need to contact him. Mary this made me hate men, but want love from them. I started doing men old enough to be my dad when I was thirteen. Some I lied to about my age some I did not. When I did they would tell me how beautiful I was and how they would be there for me. The things I to to them and for them made me feel cheap. They never stayed around long and that made me feel even worse about myself. I thought was there something about me that made men not want to love me. I have had four abortions and five STI’s. I just wanted to be hugged by not just any man but my dad. I know I was doing things that could have killed me. So I see a counselor now and I am working on me. But if I can help one mother understand how much every kid needs their dad I would scream it from the tallest building. Thank you for letting me share my story.”
I know that it cost money to raise a child and I am not saying that men should get a free pass.
What I am saying is this, look at the whole picture and not the small one. The damage youth suffer from only having one parent is so great it will effect generations. So what, he cannot or chooses not to pay his child support? They have laws for that, but don’t you let your children see you keeping them from their dad. We are smart and will see that when the time comes.
It’s hard not to want to take care of someone you have made a bond with.
None of us asked to come here and you chose to make a life with your child’s father. So let him be a father.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 24 million children in America — one out of three — live in biological father-absent homes.
