Huma Abedin is pregnant and about to give Anthony Weiner a child, but she also might first one to give him a Twitter manual.
Whether or not she’ll actually be buying him copies of “Twitter for Dummies” one thing is for sure, Weiner needs a Twitter manual.
There are rules to kicking game on Twitter, especially when you’re married to a woman like Huma who looked that stunning in Vogue. So we have decide to help out Weiner and Huma with our very own personal 10 Tweet Deck Commandants.
When you read this you have to read it very dramatic like Adrien Brody read Biggie’s original “Ten Crack Commandments.” Or better yet in the voice God spoke to Moses in!
So sit back and peep game as we give you the 10 Tweet Deck Commandments.
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10. Never Twitpic pictures of your stick. Let her see it in person or text message those things. Better yet don’t take it at all, just show it to the girl when you’re together far away from any cameras.
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9. Delete your tweets. The best part of Twitter is that DM’s delete from the person’s private message folder when you delete them from your timeline. Cover your tracks.
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8. Don’t follow people you like. One of the biggest rules of keeping it on the down low is making sure people don’t know you know the person you’re creeping with. It’s a lot easier to deny a relationship if you don’t follow someone on Twitter.
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7. Use code words and never send pictures of yourself surrounded by kittens.
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6. If you do take pictures, never take pictures of your face.
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5. Porn Stars Are Public, but they should be private. Store porn stars in a folder and go visit their timeline instead of actually following them.
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4. I’m John Doe. Create an alias, so you can do all of your dirt.
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3. Never get high on your own supply, lies. Don’t believe the lies you tell to others because those lies aren’t true.
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2. Girls will rat you out quicker than two mice stuck on a glue trap. So remember that and have a plan ready.
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1. Just don’t cheat if you have a girlfriend!
