DIARY OF A SINGLE BLACK FEMALE: If You Don’t Have A Man…

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    The other day I wrote a blog about cheating and its “new” or “current” common place and/or acceptability.  And I shared specifically about two of my girlfriends; one was a “cheater” and the other was cheated on.

    My girlfriend that was cheated on, caught her man with another woman; and upon the discovery her boyfriend locked her & the other chic outside… Yes, this brother didn’t care enough to deal with the drama HE created.

    So when one of your girlfriends is dealing with some sort of hurt or “eventful-ness” or bullshit, we must mobilize and help her get through it, right? “Helping her get through” can include hanging out, listening, being a shoulder to cry on…. It doesn’t matter – we try to make her feel better.

    Now back to the present, so I was there for my girlfriend in the all the above mentioned ways and I light-weight dissed the guys because I didn’t want to give off the “I knew it” vibe.   And upon the recovery phase and after she mobilized the female support network-LOL, bad mouthed her ex and shared the entire break down of what happen – her stupid ass went back to him.So I am like WTH… She couldn’t last less than a week?

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    So I say to her (because I’m slightly vexed at this moment) …. PLEASE BE STUPID IN PRIVATE!

    People, don’t air your dirty laundry with your friends, co-workers, family members or facebook status (LOL) and become a victim of the emotional or situational backslider.

    I began to think of the “off & on” couples, the woman that isn’t appreciated, the woman that deal with habitual cheaters or the woman that have “momentary” compensating sex.  They all posses some sort of voids to be filled. 

    I mean we all deal with “lonely” in some way or another and I can attest the resolve is totally “easier said than done” but sometimes you have to give yourself some “tough love”.

    And take note, observe & acknowledge the “alternative” “void-fillers”.God has an amazing way of attending to areas in our life that we feel are empty because always SO obvious. <

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    So what if you don’t have a man or significant other…After you say “I’m lonely” – get over it because you CAN find fulfillment else where…. Such as a male friend, a close friend, your brother or a “new” stranger (yup – happy hour time). I’m not necessarily talking sexual but more importantly emotional (which last longer than sex anyhow) and companionship.

    Utilize the men and/or people in your life; especially the male friends – go out, grab some drinks, have some dope convo that last for hours…. Theses carry a level of intimacy too.And sometimes “lonely” is more of a support system to attend to whatever place or season you are in your life. I say share your frustrations, tears & joy with people that occupy the listening role for you because everyone in your life should play a position of fulfillment. I’m not saying dump all your baggage on them because being quiet is just as strengthening as the testimony itself. 

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