Interview & Intro by Cacy Forgenie
“America’s Next Top Model” Cycle 8 Winner Jaslene Gonzalez spoke exclusively to GlobalGrind this afternoon about the fashion industry and the wider public’s perception that she has an eating disorder.
The stunning Puerto Rican supermodel, who was born on the island but was raised in Chicago, spoke to us by phone from the Hamptons where she was chilling for the weekend.
Gonzalez, a size zero model who is 5’7, wanted the world to know that there is nothing wrong with her, that she does not have an eating disorder, contrary to what her appearance says.
Gonzalez also said that she was born this way, is physically fit, can eat what she wants and is happy with who she is, explaining that she was very active as a child, playing sports and running around like any other normal kid. She confessed that as she and her sister grew older, her sister developed curves while she continually appeared thin.
Pressure and teasing from her peers and even some members of her family, began to creep into her psyche, triggering feelings of doubt and insecurity. That intense scrutiny further dented her self-esteem, ultimately driving her into the arms of an abusive lover and sometimes causing her to lose modeling gigs.
Here’s some of what was said in our conversation.
GlobalGrind: You wanted to talk about eating disorders? What’s going on?
Jaslene: Yeah, well it’s not so much addressing the eating disorders as addressing the fact that everyone has the misconception that I have an eating disorder.
In that sense I don’t embrace or I don’t acknowledge or condone the whole eating disorder thing that so many women who go through eating disorders to be my size. But I am actually a naturally thin healthy girl. This is genetics, this is something that I’ve battled with all my life. My mom, everyone, thought that I had a problem because I was so thin. I used to go to the doctors to see what was the problem and we just came to the conclusion that there isn’t a problem; this is my body type. I’ve lived so long with this insecurity of being a size zero, even a double zero.
Now, I’ve come to happiness because I feel happy to be in my own body! I feel that I am the perfect weight now. It really was painful for most of my life. I got picked on, I was always the tall skinny girl in my school, in my dancing school and everywhere I’d go, I would just stand out for being so skinny. I always thought that no one liked me, I always thought I could never get the kind of guy I wanted and I ended up falling into, I would say, an abusive relationship I fell into had a lot to do with him making me feel that way as well. I wasn’t good enough or I wasn’t thin enough, you know things like that. So, I carried a lot of that for so long and my getaway was … my escape was becoming a model and it all became a natural progression for me. Dancing on stage and being a model on the runway, I now feel comfortable in embracing my figure.
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Do you come from a large family? And you were the anomaly, right?
Yes, for sure. Well I had a twin. We were kind of raised like twins and she was the beauty, the all-American beauty. She was always fuller than me and here I was, the tall skinny, big bird looking, girl. So, my perception of beauty was way different since I was a little girl. And it all had to do with us competing with each other like in pageants and even performances and she would get the attention.
Did you grow up in a Puerto Rican neighborhood in Chicago?
Yes and then there, society itself plays a part as well. Another misconception is that everyone thinks that Latinas are all full figured brunettes with brown skin, but we all come in different shapes and sizes. If you go to the island of Puerto Rico you will find more skinny girls than you do thick girls.
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In New York you see a variation as well. Puerto Rican men tend to be thin, but I think it’s different for guys than it is for girls.
Yeah, I don’t know how people have made it out to be a bad thing. Again, I don’t condone the whole eating disorder thing, I see how they’re quick to point the finger and think that I have one, but in no way shape or form have I ever had one. I’ve been wanting to talk about this because we can not have, like, the fat girl syndrome; like how fat girls think they’re so fat and they’ve been picked on all their lives and insecure with their bodies. But, like I said before, there’s really no perfect size.
Well you’re pretty tall – you’re 5’7” Does that run in your family, that type of height?
Me and my brother are actually the tallest ones in our family, so we look even skinnier when we walk around anybody (Laughs)!
Is it difficult booking shows as someone with your weight and height?
I’m not going to lie, I’ve lost work for being my size and it’s crazy because I thought being this size was the way to be. I thought I fit the standards. I’m like, ‘How is it now that I’m losing jobs for being so skinny?’ There was one incident in particular in Thailand where I booked this two week job. I sought the whole weekend out and we drove miles away to this island. I was shooting for Resort so it was like the best job I’ve ever had in my life. I didn’t have to do anything but to enjoy the resort. And they were taking our pictures, enjoying the resort, but I had to do it all in a bikini. The photographer’s wife was on set, literally every set we went to, she had a comment about my weight: ‘OMG she’s so skinny’ and he’s like, ‘This is the type of body you’d see in Vogue.’ He’s trying to defend me, in a way, and I’m insecure at that point already, totally insecure! When I get back to where I was staying, I get my call: ‘Oh they took you out for the following weekend to do that shoot.’ I was so surprised, and I was hurt at the same time. I was like, ‘Wow! This is what someone’s perception can do to my career?’
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What was the break-through? What made you decide to go to seek medical consultation? Were you just fed up?
No, I didn’t go to get medical help, I didn’t go to therapy or nothing like that for my weight. But I just got fed up with that type of speculation. The problem was every time I would look at myself in the mirror I never thought anything was wrong ― always a perfect body ALWAYS ― there was not one time I was like ‘OMG I’m so skinny.’ It was literally everyone else’s thoughts that were telling me that I was skinny. For a period of time I believed that, but then I just got to the point where I was like, ‘Wait I have a career off of my own body. This body can make millions and inspire and the being inside this body is so much more powerful than anything.’ I just overcame that fear and I overcame that insecurity and I now stand so strong in my own body and so confident in my own body.
When was the last time you encountered that (type) of negativity?
Oh, that’s everyday! It hasn’t stopped! And that’s the thing though. I’ve thought to myself, ‘There’s no way I can live thinking that there’s something wrong with me when in reality I’m totally fine.’ I’m healthy, I eat more than you could ever imagine. I probably eat more than you! (laughs)
What do you like to eat?
I eat it all!! I really do eat it all, I love my typical Puerto Rican food.
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We’re really happy that you’ve reached a place where you’re able to block out the negativity. When people are looking at you and telling you that there’s something wrong with you, it takes a lot of power to deflect that and you’ve clearly arrived at a place where you’re capable of doing that.
Yeah.
That’s to be commended.
We’re so influenced by the media and by different things. There are so many equations that build to becoming a beautiful person. The last thing I want people to think – even though what they see first is the size of my body, they don’t see my body shape. I’m skinny but I got curves. You just really have to not judge and don’t go by what you see. There’s a lot of things that people need to look at.
I would assume that people would also think that you’re not physically strong.
Actually I’m probably stronger than my mother who’s so nice and voluptuous. I can carry my own weight! I’m actually flexible, I practice yoga. I’m sure that’s what they think but this kinda girl has a lot of endurance. A lot. I’ve been physically active all my life so I’m not weak in no way. I’m not weak at all!
And how did you get out of your relationship with your ex-boyfriend who was abusive towards you?
Well, it took time, it took a lot of strength and courage and just wanting to push forward. My thing is, I’m either happy or I’m trying to make somebody else happy. At this point in my life, after suffering and being abused, I want to be happy. It was just really nurturing my mind with thoughts like that and no one deserves to be abused and love is not abuse.
Wow that’s pretty powerful. Are you seeing anyone now?
No, I’m definitely single! I don’t want a boyfriend, that’s the thing!
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That’s a good outlook.
There’s a lot of things that I still have to do and I want to share love. I have enough friends that show me love- how about that!
You have great support team in your friends.
Oh yeah! There’s this one woman in particular, she was actually one of the first people who put me on the runway since the age of 16. She’s a wise Latina. That’s my perspective of her – she’s very wise, she’s very creative, she’s local in Chicago and I see her as a pioneer. In the Chicago Latina market, there’s not that many Latina women who have that much power. She’s created events where you have fashion elite people – and mind you, Chicago doesn’t have an industry so it’s really hard to pull people, but because fashion is not a priority for that city, or the focal point of that city, people will pay and people will want to come out, people will support – so in a sense, a lot of people have supported her and has given her so much credibility. However, there’s still so much more for her to do. When I go back, I humble myself and I’m still doing shows for her. My roles have changed from a model to a host to a creative director for her. I still have my relationship with her but only because I feel like I’ve grown with her. She’s one Latina woman that has inspired me, next to my mom, of course. Her name is Michelle Gomez FYI.
I wasn’t even ready to talk about this and I don’t really want – my family wasn’t abusive in a way; they were just like, ‘what’s wrong.’ And when I kept getting older they were like, ‘Well, she’s not gaining weight, is there a problem?’ So we then took the initiative to seek medical consultation and whatever; and we just came to the conclusion that it’s just genetics and I’m perfectly healthy.
There are people who would kill to have your body!
You know I tell myself that everyday (laughs).
