Hear ye, Hear ye!
Ladies and Gentlemen of the United States of America, I am pleased to announced that Aubrey “Drake” Graham is NOW a gangsta!
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Ever since Drake’s YOLO fight with Chris Brown at W.I.P. Nightclub made headline news, there’s this notion that somehow, some way, Drake’s a “shoot up your lady” and “kidnap your baby” killer.
This whole notion that Drake is a gangsta more crazy than bath salts and the zombie apocalypse.
Let’s take a quick second to think about this and take a trip down memory lane.
This is the same man who basically whined to his mother on-camera, because she failed to get him a tuna sandwich!
A tuna and bagel sandwich for God’s sake!
Drake’s lame, yet kind of cool, and raps about all the love sh*t most guys are too afraid to admit.
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Drake sings about all the girls who’ve broken his heart and does cute lame sh*t like spray Binaca breath freshener in his mouth right before hollering at a girl.
This is why I like Drake!
I don’t want Drake thinking or even attempting to be a tough guy.
I’m starting to think that Drake is letting his life imitate his art and quite frankly, it’s kind of wack.
In “Headlines” he raps:
“You gon make someone around me catch a body like that, oh don’t do it, please don’t do it. If one of us go in then we all go threw it.”
And that basically sums up the Chris Brown fight at W.I.P.
One of Drake’s weak ass friends decided to throw a bottle and all hell broke loose. Not to mention the overwhelming amount of people who were seriously hurt or injured because of Drake’s “someone” trying to earn his stripes.
Do I think Drake’s a pussy?
No, not completely.
Everyone fights when pushed to a limit, but I don’t think Drake can handle a one-on-one “throwing of the hands” brawl.
If I had to place bets on a Chris Brown vs. Drake fight, I’d totally put my whole life savings on Chris Brown.
Let’s be clear. No one has Drake “twisted” as Birdman would say.
He is a grown ass man with testosterone like the rest of them, but give us a break.
Maybe we have some of the people he hangs out with “twisted,” but Drizzy? I think we have him all figured out.
Drake has totally overdosed on some new found “tough guy” confidence, and I just want Drizzy to be himself before he gets hurt.
Hit your falsetto notes Drizzy, fall in love with strippers, and then make a great song about it later.
Act like a the nice Jewish boy I know you are and leave the gangsta bullsh*t to the real goons and low-lifes.
