This is a first.
An official dress code policy has been announced for this year's 55th Annual Grammy Awards and it's not looking too good for our favorite celebrities who love to bare it all, literally.
The CBS officials in charge of coordinating the Grammys have enacted a very specific dress code for celebrities who enjoy arriving to the red carpet looking like "train wrecks."
In short, CBS doesn't want to see any ass or any titties at the Grammy Awards.
No ass or titties?
CBS has to be joking.
CBS emailed a "Wardrobe Advisory" to all of the award show's attendees, which states:
CBS Program Practices advises that all talent appearing on camera please adhere to Network policy concerning wardrobe.
Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible 'puffy' bare skin exposure. Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts. Foreign language on wardrobe will need to be cleared. OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST. This as well, pertains to audience members that appear on camera. Finally, The Network requests that any organized cause visibly spelled out on talent's wardrobe be avoided. This would include lapel pins or any other form of accessory.
Could someone please explain to me what "puffy bare skin" means?
Is that code word for side boob or cleavage?
The policy basically seems like it was written by a bunch of stuffy, uptight, middle-aged, overweight executives who are attempting to wrangle in untamable celebrity behavior.
Although I agree that no one should arrive at the Grammys virtually naked, I think trying to enforce a dress code for celebrities who choose their outfits weeks in advance is pointless.
No one is making last minute changes to hide the extra "puffy" skin they may reveal.
The fact of the matter is that most celebrities don't come to the Grammys in obscene attire.
Besides a plunging neckline or a little cleavage here and there, most artists who attend the Grammys keep it respectful.
The Grammy Awards isn't like the VMAs where celebs like Lil Kim arrive in nothing but pasties, or rappers like Snoop Dogg come with half naked women on dog leashes.
Artists like Jennifer Lopez, Rihanna, Fergie, and model Anne Vyalitsyna, who've all technically broken the "wardrobe advisory" policy, looked quite classy.
None of these women appeared distasteful or wore anything obscene, but yes, they did show a little skin.
If skin is forbidden at the Grammys, CBS can forget the millions of people who tune into the Grammys just to see what celebs are wearing.
But if the saying, "all rules are meant to be broken" applies to this year's Grammy Awards, I'm interested to see which celeb will be the first to throw out a fashion "f*ck you" to CBS officials.
Brittany Lewis is the Music Editor at GlobalGrind and a Howard University Alumna. Brittany considers herself seasoned on all the pop culture ish that matters. Follow her on Twitter @Buttercup_B.