‘The only life they’ve known is war. The only loyalty they have is to each other.’ Ok…we can all agree that this tag line is beyond lame and while not the worst of the year, it’s pretty much up there… Also, after only a glimpse, The Expendables seems almost too heavy on paper: Stallone…Statham….Jet Li…Lundgren…Willis…Schwarzenegger…yes, these last two have uncredited cameos…
So….going into this screening…I figured I would at least check out some nice pecs…and whether or not Sylvester Stallone is still working out… And so it seems that Sly is still taking his workouts seriously. Say what you may about The Stallone, he is no shrinking violet. His name is loudly and clearly stamped in the movie from beginning to end…but before we get to that, let’s quickly revisit the plot of this little action flick.
The expendables are a cross between a motorcycle gang and a band of middle age mercenary ninjas who seem loosely held together by their fearless leader Barney Ross (Stallone). The motley crew is composed by a former SAS blade expert Lee Christmas (Statham), a hand-to-hand combat specialist Yin Yang (Li), a long barrel weapons specialist Hale Caesar (Crews), a demolitions expert Toll Road (Couture), and a precision sniper Gunner Jensen (Lundgren) and the resident mystic is Tool (a hilarious Mickey Rourke). From their names alone you know this is a cartoon…
These friendly mercenaries are approached by a Mr. Church (Bruce Willis) and offered a job so unattractive that the Governator himself turns it down…(trust me on this…you will have to see the scene to know what I’m talking about…and worry not, it‘s a good scene…) These boys seem to have lost all their money in the housing market crash so they look into the job because they need the money.
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