Justin Bieber: Is he the baby’s father or isn’t he? It’s the question that’s been on everyone’s mind the last two days after a 20-year-old girl named Mariah Yeater came out to claim Justin was the father of her 3-month-old baby.
While we all ponder what the answer is, there is a group of people who already know the answer to the paternity test before the swab is even taken out.
Beliebers.
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If you don’t know, Beliebers are true, diehard ride or die Justin Bieber fans. So when Justin Bieber’s lawyers come out and denounce these scandalous claims hours after they become public, well, you better believe that they are going to Beliebe their boy.
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But, what if it’s true? What if Bieber really did the nasty with a random breezy backstage without a rubber on? How would the Beliebers handle it? Well, we can never be too sure with such a irrational creature as a Belieber, but we have a few ideas what we think might happen.
Here’s 10 things Beliebers would do if they found out Justin was really the daddy!
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- Get with Tim Tebow and make a bunch of pro-life ads.
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- Act out on their crazy Lorena Bobbitt thoughts.
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- Get sucked back into the vortex they came from.
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- Just straight denial: “It’s not true do you hear me? HUH??? SO WHAT HE WAS SEEN BUYING ENFAMIL AND PUSHING A STROLLER?!!! IT’S NOT TRUE…”
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- Convince Obama that Canada’s holding nuclear weapons. Start a 2012 invade Canada campaign.
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- Literally destroy the Internet. Please don’t doubt the united power of Beliebers.
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- Stop being a Belieber. Start rocking with Lil B and get A little more BASED.
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- Ditch Justin Bieber for good. Maybe give Bieber Jr. a shot?
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- Find some way to blame Selana.
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- Shrug their shoulders and just move on.
