By now you’ve probably heard and wondered how GE, the company which owns NBC, among many other properties, managed to file 7,000 tax returns in 2010 and came out smelling like roses, while the rest of us are hounded relentlessly by the IRS for $400.00.
“GE did not pay US federal taxes last year because we did not owe any,” spokeswoman Anne Eisele told AFP in a statement earlier today, rejecting suggestions the United States’ fourth largest company was milking the system.
Well, here at GlobalGrind we had a few ideas how GE hid their cash, using some antics as old as time.
They hid their loot in a door.
GE hid their billions, not with paper work, but with elbow grease, a door, a ladder, a tube and a few drill bits. Sure, they may not have hidden much in the above door, but they own a lot of buildings with doors. We did the math and it worked out to a couple million.
All dat running ’round & hidin’ gave the GE lawyers and accountants athlete’s foot. They hid the loot in millions of cans of Desenex, the athlete’s foot remedy from the ’70s and ’80s.
We’re not snitchin’ or nothin’, but the accountants over at GE are avid readers, readin’ books about tax codes and ish. If the IRS open some of them, they’d find some cash hidden inside. Just sayin’.
Now we know why Nicki Minaj can’t keep her head up under her bride of Frankenstein wig: GE hid their profits in it. The green gave them away.