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Fiona Apple just recently had her tour bus searched, and was found in possession of 0.1 pound of hash and 0.1 pound of marijuana while in the state of Texas.

PHOTOS: Fiona Apple Arrested At Texas Border Stop!

This incident resulted in the singer spending a night in jail, having to post $10,000 bond and the cancellation of a show.

Anyone under similar circumstances would be more than flustered by it all, and Fiona is no different.

NEW MUSIC: Fiona Apple “Werewolf!”

She addressed a crowd in Houston about the matter in a figurative way, stating:

Now, most of the people were very nice to me. There are four of you out there, and I want you to know that I heard everything you did. I wrote it all down with your names and everything you did and said stupidly thinking that I couldn’t hear or see you. I then ripped the paper up, but not before I encoded it and– I got two lock boxes. We’ll call them “holding cell one” and “holding cell two”. In “holding cell one” is the encoded version of the shit that you did that I know was inappropriate and probably illegal. In “holding cell two” is the decoder. I’m the only one who holds the key, and you and I will be intimate forever because I will hold that secret forever. Unless of course the celebrity that you had so much interest in but you wanted to accuse me of bringing up while you laughed at me all night? Unless you’re interested in being a celebrity, I’ll make you fucking famous any time you ask and I’ll open those boxes. So why don’t you stay in your fucking holding cell?

Sometimes the company you keep are the ones you have to keep an eye on, and it’s likely Fiona Apple would have to concur!

SOURCE: Hypetrak

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