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Julianne Hough may be all smiles and pretty on the surface, but her career came at a price, a price the world didn’t know about until now. 

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Ryan Seacrest’s main squeeze is the cover girl for the February 2013 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine, clad in a transparent pink coat and a sexy two-piece playsuit. Naturally, the actress spoke to the women’s mag about sex with her high profile beau – it is Cosmo after all – but she also delved into a history she locked away. 

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When she was just 8 years old, Julianne’s parents allowed her to join her brother in Europe to train in ballroom dancing professionally, but the darkness that came with that time abroad was one she never re-visited until the Cosmo interview. 

Check out the excerpts below: 

On growing up away from her family as a dancer in the United Kingdom:

“I was 10 years old looking like I was 28, being a very sensual dancer. I was a tormented little kid who had to put on this sexy facade because that was my job and my life. But my heart was the same, and I was this innocent little girl. I wanted so much love… While I was in London, I was abused, mentally, physically, everything I’m a very forgiving person, and I don’t want to hurt anybody. What’s past is past…. when I started hitting puberty, when I started becoming a woman and stopped being a little girl.”

On not speaking much about the situation prior to now:

“This is the farthest I’ve ever gotten into my London situation. I was told if I ever went back to the United States, three things were going to happen. One: I was going to amount to nothing. Two: I was going to work at Whataburger. And three: I was going to end up a slut. So, it was like, I can’t go back. I have to be this person.”

On her boyfriend Ryan Seacrest:

“We love what we do. We take pride in giving it our all, but then when we’re alone, we really focus in on going to dinners and being extra-romantic and affectionate and just being there for each other.”

The actress has overcome some serious boundaries to reach her current level of fame. Kudos to her for having the bravery to forgive her past. 

Check out more from the interview over at Cosmo.