Princesses: Long Island is a real show that’s premiering tonight on Bravo TV. This concerns us.
We’re from Long Island, but we are not these girls. We are in no way like them.
They’re getting us all wrong. Stop it! This can’t be happening!
Long Island is actually a very interesting place.
We have the North Shore…
And the South Shore
And let’s not get it twisted:
Native Long Islander Billy Joel said it best:
“Either you date a rich girl from the North Shore, or a cool girl from the South Shore.”
This is very true. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with being rich, but when you’re rich and you act like the women you just saw in the trailer for this show, it’s concerning.
Wouldn’t you rather have someone that’s “cool?”
Yeah, we thought so.
Aside from being cooler people, we also have real beaches.
The North Shore has the Long Island Sound. Who wants to get tan by a “sound,” lying on a bunch of rocks?
Not us.
We’ll take the sand and boardwalks.
We also go to public school.
Long Island has some of the best public schools in the country, so why would we waste money on private schools like people from the North Shore?
We’re also totally care free, especially when it comes to dating. We’re not waiting around for a “nice Jewish boy” who may or not be a doctor, lawyer, or work in finance. You can have that. We’ll take our athletically-inclined blue collar men.
And we can’t forget the best thing about the South Shore: All American, aka a hamburger and milkshake orgasm in your mouth. [it should be a national landmark]
Another really annoying misconception about Long Island is that we’re all Jewish [this post is being co-written by a Jewish girl, but that’s besides the point, because I was like 1 of 5 Jewish people in my high school].
So sure, we might be a little biased, but we’re two South Shore girls who know how to have a good fucking time.
We also have the Long Island Medium to rep for us, and who wouldn’t want that?
So when you watch Princesses: Long Island tonight, try not to…
