We’ve been here before. Way too many times.
Apparently, rape is like football...when you look back on it, you think about what you could have done differently.
Rape is also caused by short skirts and high heels.
Rape is also a perfect joke for t-shirts…
And if you are raped, you better hope you’re married because if you aren’t, your sexual assault really never happened.
Rape tolerance. It’s presence in our culture is literally inescapable.
It permeates sports. Just today, the trial for two high school football players began to determine if they raped an unconscious 16-year-old girl at a slew of back-to-school parties. Residents of Steubenville, Ohio have accused the school football team and law enforcement of covering up the scandal because, as always, football is king. We wouldn’t want a sexual assault tainting the small town football team’s record.
It’s pervasive in our music. Rick Ross just said this on one of the “hottest” records out right now:
- Put molly all in her champagne, she ain’t even know it
- I took her home and I enjoy that, she ain’t even know it
It is literally omnipresent in our social conditioning. The idea that it is the victim’s fault is indicative of the level of respect we have for our women and the exemption of male responsibility.
It is sickening, it is disheartening, it is destroying us.
And it should be taken seriously.
Rape isn’t a joke. It’s not something that we can sweep under the rug. We cannot continue to act like the rape-tolerance culture doesn’t exist in our world because it’s just the opposite. It exists because we act like it doesn’t. And that needs to change.
The problem is that we’ve accepted that men are hyper-sexual. We’ve accepted that woman shouldn’t dress a certain way. We’ve accepted misogyny in every form and in every aspect. And it seems almost impossible to prove that rape exists because of that.
So where do we go from here? Teach the women? Teach the men? Teach our children? No. There isn’t just one answer. It will take time, understanding, willingness, and an overhaul of this society, stinking with sexism, to change a lifetime of thinking.
Maybe these will help, and maybe they won’t, but it’s time to take the first step to rehabilitation.
Let’s stop objectifying women by their sexual parts:
Let’s be real here. If all of our music and media tells us that a woman is only her breasts, ass and the very lewd “p*ssy,” how do we expect men to treat women with dignity, respect and humanity? These sexual body parts don’t have brains and hearts. They don’t have feelings. But when we start to re-examine the way that a man views a woman, her purpose and her worth, maybe we can start to battle the underlying root of rape; a clear disregard for one’s safety and life.
Let’s get rid of “victim’s guilt:”
There is an untold amount of women who are raped but afraid to come forward because of two reasons; they’re scared someone will tell them it’s their fault and they’re scared that they’ll be labeled and no one will believe them.
How did we get there?
In our culture, it’s probably your fault you got raped if you’re pretty, or wearing a short skirt, or even with a man alone. According to The Hype Weekly, women who are raped should probably just blame themselves. Especially if you act like this:
Please don’t go to the house, frat and dorm parties. Please don’t drink until you can feel the effects. Please don’t cavort with boys you would not be proud to introduce to your parents and grandparents. Please don’t imitate boys in their behavior, laugh at their jokes…
It’s easy for a woman to believe that she shouldn’t have “put” herself in a situation, when the real issue is that they shouldn’t even have to worry about a man sexually assaulting them. The problem isn’t the victim. The problem is self-control. We should uplift those who are brave enough to come forward in hopes that it will take the stigma from rape victims being hoes, sluts, harlots and just plain stupid. Ladies…it’s not your fault.
Let’s get rid of the idea that men are hyper-sexual and that’s OK:
And I quote from The Hype Weekly:
It would be far less damaging, rather than douse the flames with water, if we can remove the oxygen from the fire. Boys don’t have that much fun and are far less destructive if there are no women around to “impress” or take with them into their revelry. Drunk boys will fight each other and you in order to dominate you or your attention if you appear willing, but if there is no fun to be had, the fight tends to fizzle.
If women stay away from men, rape wouldn’t happen in the first place? This twisted idea that women have to steer clear of men because they are beasts who cannot control their sexual desires is ridiculous and insulting to men who actually can. Projecting the blame on women because we “know” that men are hyper-sexual is pardoning this beastly behavior and teaching men that this is an excusable and even healthy way of expressing their masculinity. Which brings me to the next point…
Let’s redefine what it means to be “masculine:”
What does it even mean to be masculine? If history is any indication, it means total dominance over women. Eesha Pandit, the Executive Director of Men Stopping Violence, told EBONY this:
“We have to…redefine what masculinity means…rape is not about evil in the world. It’s about power and control, in relationships and in the world. The messages that men get around masculinity from a young age are too often about violence and about exerting power and control. We need to challenge the definition of masculinity as inherently violent.”
Well said.
Let’s think of rape in terms of laws, politics and globally:
It doesn’t just happen in America. It happens all over the world. Once we start to realize how rampant and acceptable rape is in other countries, we can start to think about how to change it on a global scale.
Take it from Walter Mosley at The Nation:
Look to global strategies—like creating momentum for the US to ratify the global Convention on the Elimination of Violence Against Women and participate in addressing the phenomenon of rape as a tool of war.
But back at home, we can start to educate ourselves on the outdated laws that don’t protect rape victims and what we can do to change them.
If we know what legal weapons to use to protect ourselves, we can apprehend those sexual assailants who would otherwise walk free. It happens every day. Let’s do something to make sure these aggressors are put behind bars. The re-authorization of the Violence Against Women Act was a step, but it’s not enough. Women can be political juggernauts too.
But most importantly, we have to stop being insensitive to violence in general and start intervening when absolutely necessary. It’s not going to be easy…but it’s not impossible either.
It’s time to start looking at how we all play a part in perpetuating rape culture…because it’s simple…it’s just not fucking OK.
Christina Coleman is the News and Politics Editor at GlobalGrind. Prior to this she was a science writer. That explains her NASA obsession. She crushes on Anthony Bourdain. Nothing explains that.
Follow her on Twitter @ChrissyCole
