Flying standby sucks! It sucks so much that I don’t understand how anyone does it.
I’d rather be punched in the face by a man eating ramen noodles than intentionally fly standby.
Allow me to explain, I spent 8 hours waiting in the airport yesterday. My 12-year-old daughter was preparing for her first flight by herself. Imagine how scary that must be when you’re flying standby. Ugh! I imagined my daughter felt like this all day yesterday.
After 8 dreadful hours at JFK Airport I had to come home and tell everybody about the horrors of flying standby.
Sure, it’s a first world problem, but here’s what I came up with.
The first thing that happens when you’re forced to fly standby is that you must miss your flight. When this happens you know it’s your fault but you have to keep your composure and then blame someone else.
When you walk up to the counter to explain to them that you missed your flight and need help, you’re going to have to listen to all the BS they are going to tell you.
They are going to tell you a bunch of nonsense; the flight is overbooked, 9/11, due to regulations changes we can’t… Basically, unless you pay us more money, you’re about to get beat in the head with fees.
Standby is so bad that you’ll consider it for a minute but eventually you’ll succumb to your fate.
They will give you another ticket but they are going to make you wait. Not just a regular wait either, but a really really long wait.
As you wait, people who showed up after you, but have more “points” than you will get booked for seats. The rep behind the counter won’t call your name, you’ll just be waiting as your insides tell you everyone is a heartless bastard.
As those individuals board their flight, they will look back at you like, “Oh you’re flying standby? Hmph.”
Then right before you’re about to crack, as the people around you talk about all the things they plan on doing once the plane lands, you get fed up.
You walk up to the counter like…
Then right before you go ham, they issue you a ticket in Zone 5, in that one seat that doesn’t recline all the way back, and you forget all about your troubles and board your flight.
FYI: My daughter landed safely, all is well in the world again.
PHOTO CREDIT: Giphy, Getty
