Bow Wow took to his official website this week to announce what we had already suspected: yes he is the father of a precious bundle of joy appropriately named Shai (perhaps a play off of her father’s name?). And while it is good news that all parties are doing fine; mother of the child, Joie Chavez included, it’s a little unnerving to see that Bow Wow is somehow being venerated for his announcement.
STORY: Bow Wow: “Now That I Have My Daughter… I Have Something To Live For!”
But before giving him the Emoji side eye, let’s take a look at what we SHOULD be acknowledging as a noble and courageous act.
STORY: Bow Wow Confirms That He’s The Baby Daddy And Admits To Thinking About Suicide! (PHOTOS)
First and foremost, Bow Wow’s revelation that he considered committing suicide isn’t as common place as men announcing they fathered a child. Many of us will never understand the crushing pressure of wanting to take your own life, and the unyielding strength it must take to lift yourself out of that abyss. And while we all suspected, rumors flying like drones, that Bow Wow fathered a child with a video model, he was battling his own personal demons and decided, bravely, to share his suicidal thoughts (that and his fear of upsetting his fans with his good news).
The real shame is that some of us overlooked that confession, instead choosing to focus on his overdue broadcast, his said “baby-mama drama,” and the Gucci onesies he purchased for sweet Shai.
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What’s less impressive but arguably weightier is his decision to take care of his own child. It’s certainly better than the alternative, which is the road that many men take. In fact, the numbers for fatherless children are staggering, and while we can’t pinpoint the exact figure for absentee fathers, it’s safe to say the numbers are up there. But here is the problem. The misconception; fatherhood is a choice. I am here to tell you men…it certainly is not in regards to a child that is your own.
But whenever the outrageous idea was planted into our minds that women don’t have a choice, but men do, we started celebrating father’s who chose to do their natural born duties. In the most disgusting idolatry we venerate them, despite who they are, because they “chose” to be in their child’s life. And, unfortunately, as Bow Wow gushes about the new lady in his life, his fans and outsiders can’t help but wonder, “does he deserve the admiration?”
Yes and no. If Bow Wow is admitting to stepping up for his daughter, can we retract our admiration and chop this up to man just doing his job? But we MUST acknowledge his bravery and his commitment. We can be happy that there is one less fatherless child on this Earth. It is a responsibility he bestowed upon himself.
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However, despite the criticism he’s come under for penning the letter, what’s most upsetting is his reference to Joie Chavez, who he refers to as his “baby momma,” alluding that the two have a rocky relationship (“The bs that comes with having a baby momma is expected. So i neva trip. Jus gotta suck it up keep chin high and try not let her get the best of my feelings by playin them stupid games”) and that his child is not allowed to live with him. And while, again, it is admirable that Shai has “made [me] into a man over night,” it’s evident that it has not given him the tact, control and consideration it takes to be an adult.
Like a friend told me, a part of being grown is knowing when to divulge information to appropriate audiences. The implied tension between Bow Wow and mother of the child; totally inappropriate for little Shai’s sake.
Remember, feuding parents can be just as detrimental as absentee ones.
Good luck with fatherhood, Bow Wow!
~Christina Coleman
Christina Coleman is a freelance writer based out of Washington, D.C.
