I just found out the other day that in addition to loving and supporting my black man, I now have to apologize to him and relinquish my womb.
I’ve apparently become his worst nightmare. I’ve taught his daughters to hate him. I’ve had to weaken him to gain strength.
My constructive criticism has now turned into belittling and instead of assisting him through this journey, I have aided in his denigration. Ultimately, I am to blame for his fragility.
But don’t worry Black women. We’ve now issued a public apology to the Black man. This is our call for reconciliation. Signed, “A Black Woman Who Concedes That Her Womb Was One Of Many.”
Listen up. My womb belongs to ME!
No man, not Black, not white, not Asian, not Jay Z, is an exemplary womb possessor. Until I say so.
Society as a whole has been apologizing to Black men for decades, trying to erase residuals from a world where we weren’t welcome. Apologies from America that aim to create some ridiculous post-racial space.
Why should Black women have to do the same? It’s not enough that the world apologizes, now I have to put aside the struggle of being a Black woman and also apologize to him with the preposterous idea that this will finally empower him.
DETAILS: HOLD UP! Black Women Owe Black Men An Apology?!
It’s not fair. Furthermore, it’s absurd.
And in addition to all of that, I’m still trying to figure out when we let outside influences shape how we view and love our Black men?
Maybe I’m no different, and this might cause some scrutiny as well, but here is my proposal.
You owe me an apology.
Try this for a sweeping generalization. We’ve always stuck by your side. No matter how much we complain, we always want better for you. Chances and forgiveness are unlimited resources for us.
We don’t teach our daughters to hate you, we teach our daughters to be careful of men in general. We teach them that YOU are our only option. We teach them to value the BLACK family.
We are not angry, we are tired. We are not criticizing, we are encouraging. My degrees don’t put me above you, they make our unit stronger.
Should I have to apologize for that? For wanting better from you? For loving you? For being so dedicated that I’m willing to be a part of the 40% of black women that never experience the bliss of being married because I’m still waiting for a BLACK man and limiting my options??
Try apologizing to us for turning your back.
Apologize for teaching our sons that the faces of their Black mothers aren’t beautiful. Apologize for ingraining in our daughters that the standard of beauty lies in some racially ambiguous woman with long hair. Apologize for not teaching our children, period.
Apologize for not sharing your wealth with us. Apologize for leaving us with broken homes and insecurities. Apologize for leaving us unmarried. Apologize for never protecting us from others.
While I’m on the front line, dedicated to protecting the Black man, no one is protecting me.
Who advocates for me? Answer that question.
The truth is, I’m at my strongest when I’m with you. And maybe I’m a little defensive because of this nonsensical and contradictory declaration that excuses years of hurt, hate, and abandonment.
So let’s dial back.
Instead of pointing the blame, I’ll retract my proposal and say this; these are ways to make our relationship better.
Let’s be encouraging, together. Let’s set the standard for our children, together.
But there is no way…no way…that I, as a Black woman, am conceding my womb to ANY unworthy man and apologizing to generations of black men for a failed community.
If you don’t ask for one, I won’t either.
Okay, now let’s make this work. But my womb is still mine. I’m almost certain it’s illegal to relinquish an entire race or wombs to men. #imjustsaying.
Love,
A Happy Black Woman In Possession Of Her Own Womb While Still Loving Black Men
