”You always want what you want when you want it. Why is everything so urgent with you,’ said Nina Mosley (from ‘Love Jones’)’ In reply ‘Darius Lovehall said, ‘Let me tell you somethin’. This here, right now, at this very moment, is all that matters to me. I love you. That’s urgent like a motherf*****.”
Is the need to be ‘loved’ more important than actual ‘love’? It seems that in this culture of ‘serial monogamy’ (as I call it) often times we look outside of ourselves to fill the holes within. Subsequently we label lust, intense feelings, or simply consistently being within a close proximity to another person that makes us swoon as ‘love’. If love were meant to be so easily tangible it wouldn’t be so rare to obtain & sustain.
Now is every relationship that lacks ‘love’ empty and/or pointless, no. Should we rush into labeling relationships as ‘love’, yes. What I envision is a world in which men and women are in a relationship where everything evolves organically. Nothing is forced or fabricated. This maybe a pipe dream as so many factors need to come into play in order for it to work.
The biggest ones are trust and respect. If you truly trust and respect your significant other so many things are avoided. Top on the list are jealousy and cheating. You don’t have to be Jesse James or Elizabeth Taylor to know that cheating wont sustain a relationship. It most certainly wont lead to ‘love’ in the true sense. Notwithstanding, the perception of being ‘loved’ by another still remains.
That brings me back to my original question…is the need to be ‘loved’ more important than actual ‘love’? Have we been so locked into this on-going cycle of heart break that we simply look to fill emotional voids? How can we as a community emerge from it and back to the society that the divorce rate didn’t look like a game of russian roulette?
