Salt- 2 Salty Tarantulas
Angelina Jolie can do no wrong. That girl is a bad-ass…and just to prove it, she took the male part that Tom Cruise passed up to do the silly and fun ‘Knight and Day’ and turned Edwin Salt into Evelyn Salt. One grain of SALT later, and Jolie’s knockout presence combined with her talent for jumping from one moving vehicle to the other (let’s not forget this astrommamma does her own stunts! Eat that, Tom Cruise!) and living to finish the movie…well…that makes for a very compelling movie star! If there is someone who was born to be a movie star is this girl!
Forget all you know about her personal life (a possible HBO series by itself) and hear me out: this girl is hot and sizzles the screen with such force that even the SALT script went up in flames…but heck, you are so mesmerized by her presence, especially when she is firing a weapon, killing a dude, escaping a burning building, or engaging in mano-a-mano battle, that you may not even notice the ludicrous story. But as the story goes, as a CIA officer, Evelyn Salt has had her share of close encounters…and that one in North Korea may have just been the last straw. Marriage and a desk job are now the norm. But who is she really?
Before you can say ‘Priviet’ a strange looking Russian defector comes in from the cold and points the finger at our girl – DA! Before you can say ‘????????! ????????!’ poor Salt is accused of being a Russian spy master. Salt? Really? The one married to the nice German dude who collects insects?? That skinny broad? Well, at least we can all agree that the recent arrest of 11 apparently small time Russian spies and their subsequent deportation has helped make this movie not feel very dated and also reminded us that spies can be hot (that would be you Anna Chapman!)
But, back to our movie…after that ugly accusation, our girl’s wedding anniversary plans are kaput! So Salt does what any big-time spy worth her salt would do – go on the run – using all her skills and years of experience as a covert operative to elude capture. Of course she is in love…and of course she will leave no stone unturned to find her husband and prove her innocence. But then again, after murdering good and bad guys alike, we all begin to wonder: ‘Who Is Salt?’ Is she really Comrade Chenkov, a double agent? or just plain loca Salt? Who is asking and who cares? Frankly, all we should care about is that for being a spy on the run, Salt looks terrific all the time! Girl, where do you shop???
And great looks aside, as long as Salt is holding on to some firearms, fancy explosives or just a broken bottle, you know this will be worth watching.
Now to what really matters: not only is Angelina Jolie the most beautiful woman in Hollywood (and so lovingly photograph is looks like she has no pores…) but she can also act…which is really convenient since the script has gone MIA. Jolie makes Salt entirely believable in a completely unbelievable story…and I guess this is why