My Name is Xilla, and I’m A Self-Absorbed Jerk. Last week when I got back from the BET awards, I got a call saying I was needed asap to Interview Amber Rose. When I got to the office I was told she was upstair in the office with Russell Simmons. I was told to simply walk into the office and conduct an interview. I laughed like you all can’t be serious. I looked around and I was the only one laughing. After a few minutes of ranting, and pumping myself up I went upstairs to barge into Russell’s office and interview Amber Rose. FYI: Russell Simmons currently has cameras in the office because he’s in the process of filming his new reality show.
When I head up stairs ready to barge into Uncle Rush‘s office, and interview the beautiful Amber Rose and Russell comes out of his office. I’m startled, but I managed to ask him where’s Amber. He curses me out without cursing, and makes me feel sort of dumb, Russell has a way of doing that. I turn around walk into the back of our mega luxury offices overlooking Manhattan in search of Amber Rose. I finally find her getting dressed in a back room and my heart drops, her eyes flutter, I swallow a giant gulp of air, she smiles, and she’s a bit confused as to why I’m there, but she’s so nice, She ask for a minute to finish get dressed. I oblige.
I think to myself I’m BlogXilla, I’ve been featured in numerous magazine, won awards, I’m like the blogging King. I’m a ladies man, I know tons of things about love, sex and relationships. I’ve rubbed shoulders with numerous people, from Jay-Z and Diddy, to Richard Gere, and Jennifer Aniston. Surely I can manage a face to face with Amber Rose. Right?
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After a few minutes of standing around I go over into the back room and see her struggling with her suitcase. She has so many clothes she can’t close it. I think to myself wow Amber Rose is in my office getting dressed and I’m about to interview one of if not THEE most beautiful woman in the world. So I offer to help her close her suitcase. I knee drop her suitcase like I was a wrestler laying the smack down. I press my knee deep into the suitcase using all of my weight to push down and close it, I am an inch away from Amber’s private garments. She zips up her suitcase successfully. We are officially friends. I feel like a boss, hell I’ll even say I felt like Russell must of felt when he signed his first Def Jam check. (Ice Cold) I slowly relive Andre 3000’s skit in my head.
Amber and I are making small, talk I remind her we met a year ago in Los Angeles, she sort of remembers, and flashes another smile. I think to myself this woman is so damn cool. I’m geek up, and what’s about to happen is about to be epic, the greatest hip pop blogging accomplishment of all time. So what’s going to happen next?
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So now I have Amber Rose in the back room alone, we sit at the table, I am ready to conduct my interview, she doesn’t want to be on camera, so I suggest she should just interview me. That’s a great idea. So she interviews me and start to ask me questions. I’m super excited. I’m the man! No other man h
