Not long ago, I hosted a town hall discussion on health for the BET Foundation with an audience of around 100 girls aged 8 to 11. That was the day I realized an issue that’s been plaguing women for generations is now infiltrating innocent minds frighteningly early — body image. While addressing the topic of self-esteem a number of these children admitted to disliking what they see in the mirror each morning. Some of the more outspoken ones revealed that they’re unhappy with their physical appearance because they look nothing like the women they see and hear about everyday through the media. Unfortunately most of us have experienced body image issues at some point but that probably didn’t begin until puberty, so to see younger kids taking on this kind of emotional stress before their bodies have even begun to develop was heartbreaking.
Fast-forward a couple of weeks, I’m covering an event for the organization “Black Girls Rock” asking some of the high-profile women in attendance (Mary J., Raven Symone, Janelle Monae, etc.) what they believe to be the biggest issue facing today’s girls and women of color. An overwhelming number of them gave the same answer – body image and self-esteem. How we view our physical appearance can impact our behavior, how we interact with others, whether or not we value ourselves and ultimately our happiness. But just imagine how a child deals with feeling unattractive.
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For decades women have strived to meet Hollywood’s thin standards or those unforgiving ones set by the fashion industry, but these days many women and girls of color struggle to obtain the more curvaceous ideal that’s been perpetuated through our favorite hip hop and R&B songs, videos and through magazines. It’s great that society has embraced the curvier woman but it’s unfortunate that so many females are left feeling bad about themselves in the process. Plastic surgery stats show just how far some are willing to go to meet this almost impossible standard.
What’s more, that pressure we feel may stem from the media but it extends to some of the guys and even the girls around us. How many times have you heard someone make a joke about a female with the ailment “nassitol,” or make nasty comments about a person just because their chest is on the smaller side? The issue as a whole is exacerbated by the fact that some girls grow up believing their bodies are all they have to offer. Take a look at some of the profile pictures on twitter and you’ll get my point.
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But back to the children – at 8, 9, 10 years old, the only thing they should be concerned about body-wise is that they’re fit and healthy. As they grow, what could very well help them learn to love and accept their bodies is if we, as adults, set an example despite our own battles and insecurities. Most of us understand that what’s more important than physical beauty is a beautiful mind so maybe we need to focus more on that fact and the kids will realize it too.
At the town hall an 11-year-old raised her hand to ask the question, “How do you build your self-esteem?” An answer one of the panelists gave still sticks in my mind. We offer much more than just our bodies, she told the audience, so we need to discover our talents and what we love, work hard to achieve well in school and our careers and those accomplishments will build the kind
